The Great Bodega Phuket Belly Flop Competition
In Thailand’s tropical south sandy beaches all well and good, but sometimes you want to be within crawling distance of a cool, clean pool and a fully stocked bar. And while you’re relaxing Bodega-style at the best hostel with a pool in Phuket, you’re probably gonna want some entertainment too. So whether you’re a tipsy bystander or dreaming of becoming immortalised around South East Asia for your flawless technique, check out the Bodega Phuket Belly Flop Competition!
As with any activity that involves alcohol and not many clothes, we have the art of belly flopping down to a science. Many an intrepid traveller has stepped up to the board, ready to prove they have that star quality our judges are looking for. Keep in mind though- only a few have been able to land the perfect flop and claim the fame, fortune and belly rash that accompanies such a courageous act. While we are anarchists at heart, this is Bodega- There Are Rules! Here’s a few quick tips to get you immortalised in the Halls of the Bodega Flop:
Are you gliding through the air or flailing to the bottom? A true belly flop champion maintains good posture at all times. Judges are looking for straight arms, straight legs and a complete disregard for protecting that beautiful belly.
Many brave Bodegans think they have what it takes. However, with that cool water rushing up to bitch-slap your nether regions it’s the Herculean mind over matter struggle that carries the god-like through to a belly flops painful completion. Bitching out at the last second will earn you zero respect. Much like the questionable love-life decisions you made on last nights pub crawl, you’ve made your choice, now see it through.
While many of us are familiar with this, it takes on a whole new meaning during a Belly Flop Competition. You’ve pounded your shotgun, stepped up to the board and launched yourself into the great blue. Only something is wrong. In your enthusiastic state you’ve pushed off too hard. Overcompensated. Your lithe body arcs gracefully, sunlight glinting off your ass-cheeks before you execute a dive that would get you a place on your national team. Disgraceful.
If you’re so hungover that belly flopping means you’ll leave more in the pool than you went in with, relax. Every Bodega Belly Flop competitor is judged by a jury of their peers- in this case, you! Your booze soaked opinions on this noble competition are what turn an average backpacker into the stuff of legends, all while hanging at the best Hostel with a pool in Phuket. Grab a beer, put your feet up and keep this guide to hand, and welcome the infamous Bodega Phuket Belly Flop Competition.